Happy May 24th, the day the greatest song-writer of all time was born. Today, the amazing Bob Dylan turns 69 years old. Do I really have to go into detailed praise of this man, whom I love so much? Currently I don’t very much feel like needing to prove to you his greatness (if you don’t get it, you are missing out). Let’s skip past all the different musical conversational possibilities when dealing with Dylan, (there need’s to be a Dylan themed ‘Table Topics’ asap); acoustic vs. electric, folk vs. blues, fav live album, fav duet, fav 80s album, Christian Dylan, Jewish Dylan, 2000s Dylan, XM radio Dylan, fav bootleg volume, etc… What I decided to do on this wonderful coffee charged morning, other than listen to his discography in chronological order, is try to find awesome Bob Dylan t-shirts online (that is kind of our specialty). This proved to be a somewhat difficult task. For one, there are way too many cheapster zazzle/cafe press type of shirts out there that makes sifting through the web a pain in the ass… I’d rather make my own t-shirt than waste money on one of these, because despite their cheap quality, I couldn’t even find one that was at least aesthetically pleasing. Finally, I stumbled onto Lucky Brand, quickly remembering a Bob Dylan t-shirt I own from them. It’s not that great, but I am a big vintage concert poster fan. This is the first one I found online, and I think it’s pretty awesome:

It was only I fell in love with this shirt, that I found out that it is a kids size, and out of stock. Don’t you hate it when that happens? However, with the search, Lucky redircted me to this one (get it here):

and this one, you can get here (On sale):

I like both of these. The first with its creative use of the lyrics from Mr. Tambourine Man to create a nice rustic picture (only his shnoz looks a bit Ringo-eque). The second features a faint picture of the later, black shade, afro-sporting, ‘Don’t Look Back’ Dylan. My only beef is that I would rather not see the text of Dylan at the bottom. If you don’t know it’s Dylan, that’s your problem.

I also found this Bob Dylan tee, which I am still unsure of exactly how I feel about, from artiitii.com :

There is also this shirt, from the official Bob Dylan site:

and this one, on which I love the back, but the front completely ruins it (I am really not a fan of that new Dylan ‘eye’ emblem that he uses):

However, the best Dylan tees, in my opinion, are the vintage concert tees, if you want to spend the big bucks, check out some on Ebay . My favorite, having to be:

And so we come to the end of this wonderful Bob Dylan search, and I am still left feeling a bit unsatisfied. I may have missed a cool shirt hiding somewhere on the internet, but in general, the designer iconic rock figure shirt seems to be a rarity, which is really quite a shame. I don’t like my rock shirts to be cheap, sticky prints, that look like they were made in a basement for 20 cents a pop. I feel there’s a lot of creativity that can be infused into making a rock shirt, but I couldn’t find it out there.

Last but not least, I can’t let you go without putting a song up! However, I was unable to put up one of my favorite Bobby songs, Maggie’s Farm live from Newport version (so much better than original, Bloomfield kills it on the guitar!) So, I decided to put up this hilarious clip from the incredible Scorsese documentary, No Direction Home.

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I guess my chest hair wants a smoke! For some reason the arm reaching out has polka dot colored skin and a fresh green manicure. Don’t remember having that yesterday! But I’ve become accustomed to waking up with faint memories of debaucherous nights. This shirt is reminiscent of an 80s cigarette ad and while I am not in support of the tobacco industry, there’s a broad line between ideology and fashion. Gotta love the v-neck here (add some Buddy Holly glasses and you’ll be scooping up more hipster bitches than Andrew VanWyngarden; and if you going down that road you best be smoking American Spirits, and no I am not exactly sure why, but I guess they don’t cause cancer?). However, the best part of the shirt is the happy cigarettes in the pack, and the unhappy one knowing he is about to meet his maker (not literally). Guess it’s not always great to be the chosen ones (and yes, I mean it as a double entendre in that way)

The shirt is from Gold Saturn, get it here

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Cab Calloway – Hey Now, Hey Now

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Captain America may have big muscles and a round shield, but this is the ‘American Dream Machine‘ ! This image shows us just how much America is changing. Out with the old and in with the new. This is the futuristic recreation of Uncle Sam; let’s be real, old man Sam has got tennis balls on his walker and talks to himself. This is pretty much exactly what Skynet made, except they weren’t creative enough to spruce it out with super-nationalistic duds. However, they do get brownie points for later evolving to the John Matrix prototype.  In real life, the most plausible scenario is that Apple will build the robots that will eventually kill us and I am OK with that. What else can life offer me after I’ve had the enjoyment of ‘Oregon Trail’ in the palm of my hand? Back to the shirt. I wonder if that hat is metal and I wonder what that beard is made of (I mean, robots don’t shave?). Note: sporting the same facial hair as the image on your t-shirt is not narcissistic, but good hearty self-promotion. On the other hand,  a self picture is a no go.

From Love Brigade, get it here

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This reminds me of a great Seinfeld quote: “Some people actually cheat on the people that they’re cheating with. Which is like being in a hold up and then turning to the robber next to you and going ‘Alright, gimme everything you have”’. But what do you do if you are held up by a monkey?! I am reminded of the greatest monkey movie there is, “Dunston checks In” (King who?), featuring Pee Wee Herman, George Costanza, and Otho. However, it is really the monkey who is the star, stealing hearts as he wants to leave the jewel thieving trade. If you really think about it, Hollywood has been showing us monkeys acting like humans for ages; drinking, kissing, stealing, dancing, etc. Ulterior motive? (*cough evolution cough*). Face it, when you were young you wanted a monkey as a pet, and I wonder why more people don’t have them (insert Friends reference here). And why wouldn’t you? They are beyond adorable. Even with a gun in their hands, you couldn’t believe they could hurt a baby. Side note; I love the way this t-shirt design does the smoky fading/blending colors, trippy.

From BamBam, get it here

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Buzzcocks – Why Can’t I Touch It

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We picked this shirt up at one of our favorite and one of the most creative thrift experiences, the Bryn Athens Thrift Store (peep what our gal Sammy D found). What I love most about this shirt is that for one, I am unsure if somebody made it themselves, or if this was the brand’s intention; all the labels are so random and haphazardly placed, that it really does a fantastic job to confuse you. Alls I know is that if I was a lifeguard, a big if, but I would definitely rock this over the typical red lifeguard hoodie (how boring). Plus this one has a marine biology tag, so you can be like Art Vandelay and hope no whale comes along to take your fabrications to task.

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This is one stud of a fly (Kafka meets Buddy Holly); the classy tux, the proper pocket square, the sexy 50s Fender, the bolo tie(!!!) and the suede Bob Dylan’s! …Speaking of flies: Goldbloom. Rourke playing Bukowski. Mr. Miyagi. First rapper of all time Blowfly. Lord of the _… Now when it comes to text on tees, I am almost strongly against it. It is usually a way for somebody to try to make up for their lack of a personality and a sense of humor. However, there are times when I just don’t get it, and then I am really unsure of how to feel. The latter is the case here. Is music the new bug extermination? Are flies going to take over the planet through Rock & Roll? Fun fact, flies vomit on your food when they land on it, but it is not that which spreads diseases but the fact that their feet carry along with them the nasty shit they have been on top of all day (poop). But flies aren’t all that bad cause Chubby Checker says so; not as popular as the ‘Pony time’ or “The Twist’ but incredible nevertheless (and a great case study of funny white people):

From ALAKAZAM, get it here

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We party our fair share. We thought it was about to time to document some of the happenings. Hangin’ out at the ultimate philly hipster party: Bouffant Bangout @ Barbary, and we think it went pretty well… only we don’t really remember. Decide for yourself. And yes, the party bus got booted that night!

Click the picture for the gallery:

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In the grand scheme of things, this shirt is not exactly my style. My knowledge of Kung Fu and martial arts is limited to what I heard on Wu-Tang records. And Seven Samurai, note: those farmers drove me nuts, biggest pussies since Red from Friday (however Deebo is a scary mother). But from a pure aesthetic point of view, this shirt is crazy. To capture the eclectic colors and use of materials in oriental clothing and encapsulate it into an image on a t-shirt is pretty remarkable. On a funny note if you look closely you realize that this Samurai has three hands! Two, holding the tiger down and one shoving the sword to his throat! Now, I’ve seen some phenomenal Asians; Speed Racer, Yao Ming, Pai Mei, Mr. Miyagi, Yo-Yo Ma, Tila Tequila, Hikaru Sulu, Scotty Nguyen….. but this three handed Samurai takes the cake!

From Maharishi, get it here

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