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Buzzcocks – Why Can’t I Touch It

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We picked this shirt up at one of our favorite and one of the most creative thrift experiences, the Bryn Athens Thrift Store (peep what our gal Sammy D found). What I love most about this shirt is that for one, I am unsure if somebody made it themselves, or if this was the brand’s intention; all the labels are so random and haphazardly placed, that it really does a fantastic job to confuse you. Alls I know is that if I was a lifeguard, a big if, but I would definitely rock this over the typical red lifeguard hoodie (how boring). Plus this one has a marine biology tag, so you can be like Art Vandelay and hope no whale comes along to take your fabrications to task.

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This is one stud of a fly (Kafka meets Buddy Holly); the classy tux, the proper pocket square, the sexy 50s Fender, the bolo tie(!!!) and the suede Bob Dylan’s! …Speaking of flies: Goldbloom. Rourke playing Bukowski. Mr. Miyagi. First rapper of all time Blowfly. Lord of the _… Now when it comes to text on tees, I am almost strongly against it. It is usually a way for somebody to try to make up for their lack of a personality and a sense of humor. However, there are times when I just don’t get it, and then I am really unsure of how to feel. The latter is the case here. Is music the new bug extermination? Are flies going to take over the planet through Rock & Roll? Fun fact, flies vomit on your food when they land on it, but it is not that which spreads diseases but the fact that their feet carry along with them the nasty shit they have been on top of all day (poop). But flies aren’t all that bad cause Chubby Checker says so; not as popular as the ‘Pony time’ or “The Twist’ but incredible nevertheless (and a great case study of funny white people):

From ALAKAZAM, get it here

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It was just some time past midnight when it went down. Between the whiskey, the hookers, the cards and blind black man playing the piano there arose a sudden confrontation. Broncho Billy Anderson was downing his tenth beer when a hairy palm grasped his shoulder and a raspy, cigar smelling voice uttered multiple expletives. No rhyme or reason could explain the situation other than the fact that the culprit, Wild Ray Corrigan, didn’t like Broncho’s face and wished to have it expressed. If you have never been in a bar fight it’s hard to explain exactly how it escalates from a simple exchange of words to a crazy brawl. Some say the chairs started flying first, but I know it started with a pool cue being broken over Corrigan’s head. As any good cowboy who witnesses a fight in their vicinity, it is part of the code to join as quickly as possible with no regard for the side you are fighting for, as long as you lay a couple of suckers out. And into the dawn they fought. The only real loser was the bar owner, whose place of establishment was wrecked beyond recognition and the hookers who didn’t have a single customer for the rest of the night and sat around in a circle discussing the latest ‘Gossip Girls’ episode.

From Ames Brother, get it here

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Although they are somewhat under-represented on this blog, I love red shirts. You can put almost anything on a red tee and it’ll probably be awesome. Put a sexy picture on the front, preferably with some sort of female nudity, and you’ve got a best seller (at least in my eyes). If that image is adapted from the a Legendary Glam Pop Album’s cover art, then you have transcended reality and entered a new realm of t-shirt spectacularity! House of the Gods, a collection of musically inclined shirt designs, really hit a home-run on this one, and I am pretty sure they didn’t inject any steroids to enhance their performance. I mean think about it, how many album covers can you think of that are better than this one? I mean it’s no Abbey Road, but Roxy Music is #387 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 greatest albums of all time even though chances are you haven’t heard even one song from the entire album. You should know that Bryan Ferry and his Roxy Music band-mates were some of the classiest gentlemen of their time, bringing glitz to an otherwise sartorially confused generation. Just notice how they had the topless young lady cover herself up. ( I needed an excuse to show the close up… can you blame me?)

Also, pay attention to how they gave the beautiful strangers a few moments to apply a fresh coat of lipstick. In the 70’s there was no Revlon Colorstay lipstick, reapplication was necessary after, say, lunch… or a blow job. I also can appreciate the placement of the band’s name (House of the Gods’ doing). I mean what guy wants to witness the disapproving glare of a naked woman’s eyes as he ogles her repeatedly. Well done House of the God’s and well done Roxy Music.

House of the Gods took care of business, but you can only lead a horse to hay, you can’t make it eat… so feast my three legged friend, for you have been brought to the straw fields. But nothing in life is free, so pay your for your meal here

And in case it’s true and you haven’t heard even one song from Country Life, you’ve just lost your virginity and I am the one to take it!

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Fashion has always been something that is decided in a dark room with people who know, or think they know, more than the common man and put it out there for the people. Alas, there arose a revolutionary medium for the creative outlet of the individual. www.threadless.com. For the first time, the individual is the driver behind the wheel of the entire shirt creation process. Everyone can be involved in the process, whether you are creating the designs or voting for them (every vote counts, no electoral college!). Every week  artists and designers upload their t-shirt designs and the community of thousands of people is able to mold a popular census of what they want to see on their shirts.  Threadless relies on its community’s participation and has gathered a rather impressive following. One main reason is that Threadless takes care of its members for their participation. Besides the hefty prize given to the winner of every weeks competition, there are perks for uploading pictures of you wearing Threadless shirts and referring friends to the site. There is also a very active blog and forum, periodical contests, and much much more!

Today, a decade past the beginning, Threadless celebrates its ten year anniversary (and you can celebrate by taking advantage of their all tee for 10$ sale - the sale is over, but the anniversary celebrations continue so stay tuned). It’s been a long road for them. When Jake Nickell and Jacob DeHart started ten years ago they were fresh out of high school and had a thousand dollars from an Internet T-shirt design competition. But even more important they had an idea, and sometimes that’s all you need in America. Below are some of our favorite designs:

The 21st century web-ruled society  is the perfect backdrop for David’s battle with Goliath, and Threadless is one of the pioneers empowering the little guy. In a world of mass everything, of giant conglomerates ownership over all, of corporations making decisions for us on music, television, movies, books, fashion, etc., the internet has empowered the individual. With the new generation of the digital age, things done changed. We saw it when the Arctic Monkeys marketed themselves online and ended up with the fastest selling debut album in British history. We saw what Radiohead did with their “In Rainbows” album. We also see the crest of a high and beautiful wave of phenomenon that is internet blogs (and their immense popularity, and sway in all the markets). By the people, for the people. Nobody could tell exactly where this will take us, but I don’t see it going away any time soon.

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My problem with this t-shirt is that it gives the false pretense of being a plain white tee, and I don’t mean the terrible 5XL-looks-like-a-moo-moo-gangsta-ish, but the classic fitting white t-shirt one would wear on a casual day. However, this incognito attempt at coolness is exposed as the clown, who for some unexplainable reason decided to purchase this tee, turns around. I mean, the graphic is just outright silly, some futuristic rehashing of the little guy from the walk traffic light. Am I missing something? Is this a Rain Man homage (or just a subconscious admittance of retardation)? Is it an alien? Is it made from an erector set? For one, why would ANYBODY want this on the back of their shirt… or the front… or anywhere near anything that they wear?! As the shirt’s description states, it seems this is G-Star’s effort at being “innovative, cutting edge style, futuristic, alternative, experimental, new, edgy, and trendy”. Smells like some ostentatious bullshit. The only thing I see is half ass effort with no understanding of style. All that ‘effort’, they would have been better off leaving the tee blank and calling it a day. On the topic of innovation, some brands try too hard to be new and edgy with their designs and take it over the top, but I can respect their pursuit even if I don’t like the finished product. With G-Star, it’s like that old saying, ‘‘don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash’. Ah, love, let us be true to one another, this is just a wack ass shirt, no ifs ands or butts.

If you are foolish enough, get it here, but at least wear it inside out or under a jacket and spare yourself the embarrassment. And make sure you pair it with G-Star’s innovative jeans:

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I have been meaning to get something off my chest. Well, technically, on my chest. I love simplicity. There is something beautiful about the fresh look one achieves with a plain white, solid color or striped tee. This is exactly what Levi’s had in mind with their new vintage collection; if they had something else in mind they were wrong. Levi’s taps into that classic Americana (think Happy Days, American Graffiti, The Sandlot, etc.) look of the 50 and 60s with this simple but effective t-shirt. A simple time of gorgeous cars, Chuck Berry, suburban life, drive-in movies, burger joints, jukeboxes, Jack Kerouac, the twist, the bouffant, Ray Bans, PF Flyers, and of course striped tees. However, like all fashion trends, there is no reason to keep this look bottled up in the past. An oldie but a goodie; Levi’s brings back the true vintage look that you most likely won’t find at a thrift store (a lot cooler than that t-shirt from Camp Nakanawa 1998). This is the look to go for this Spring and Summer. However, I can’t promise you will look as cool as Mr. Dean:

From Levi’s and available in two great colors (I recommend getting both) blue & red here and blue & white here

All this nostalgia warrants even more nostalgia.  Some more throwback for ya with Bobby D on the narration:

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Rock & Roll has it’s price. There seems to almost be this requirement of losing yourself to become a rockstar. It started with Robert Johnson, who sold his soul to the devil for his nasty guitar skills. In between, John Lennon went a little crazy a lot before his murder, Brian Wilson went a lot crazy a little before the Beach Boys popularity, Jim Morrison drowned himself in Jack Daniels(free product placement), Kurt Cobain either shot himself or didn’t but either way we can blame it on spending too much time with Courtney Love, Brittany Spears went on a couple year rampage of insanity of which marrying Kevin Federline was definitely the craziest point.  And most recently, Lil’ Wayne sold his teeth to the devil for stardom, which was a great deal since he replaced them with diamonds… all of these stories seem to have gotten their inspiration from a German literary character named Faust who sold his soul in exchange for knowledge. Aaaand this brings me back on topic because you see, the name given to this t-shirt by its AllSaints SpitaFields creators is nothing other than ‘Faust’. They’re interpretation of the age old story is pretty awesome. The use of duality with the two-face channeling shirt color is inspired. On the front, and most visible side of both the tee and the rocker life, it’s rockin’ out on stage with leather pants and the American flag waving at all the people in the stands while they cheer for more splits and guitar breakage. On the back is the dark side of it all (hence the black), the private struggle of the rockstar lifestyle represented by the obscure image thats difficult to make out. Together it makes a rockin’ tee that doesn’t yell out slogans and one-liners but subtly tells a story that even your gallery-party crashing friends would appreciate.

show off your artistic side and pretend to sympathize, all while still being bad ass, buy it here

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I love guitars regardless of my inability to play one properly. Different guitars and the way their players decorated them have been iconized in the history of rock & roll. From Woody Guthrie’s “this machine kills fascists”, to the psychedelicly painted Jimmy Page’s telecaster and George Harrison’s stratocaster, to Kurt Cobain’s “Vandalism: beautiful as a rock in a cop’s face”.. and so many other notables in between. The guitar on this shirt is in the same badass timeline of grimey rock & roll awesomeness; stickered up, dirty, probably sporting many burn marks, bruises, etc. If the strat on this shirt wasn’t ruthless enough, the back provides an imprint of a gun tucked into your pants. It’s all the attitude of Travis Bickle without the crazy shootout. Not everyone can set their guitar on fire like Hendrix, let alone live that crazy lifestyle. This shirt is the way to do it vicariously. I prefer the former to the later, but to each his own.

From Angelos-Frentzos get it here

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