Happy May 24th, the day the greatest song-writer of all time was born. Today, the amazing Bob Dylan turns 69 years old. Do I really have to go into detailed praise of this man, whom I love so much? Currently I don’t very much feel like needing to prove to you his greatness (if you don’t get it, you are missing out). Let’s skip past all the different musical conversational possibilities when dealing with Dylan, (there need’s to be a Dylan themed ‘Table Topics’ asap); acoustic vs. electric, folk vs. blues, fav live album, fav duet, fav 80s album, Christian Dylan, Jewish Dylan, 2000s Dylan, XM radio Dylan, fav bootleg volume, etc… What I decided to do on this wonderful coffee charged morning, other than listen to his discography in chronological order, is try to find awesome Bob Dylan t-shirts online (that is kind of our specialty). This proved to be a somewhat difficult task. For one, there are way too many cheapster zazzle/cafe press type of shirts out there that makes sifting through the web a pain in the ass… I’d rather make my own t-shirt than waste money on one of these, because despite their cheap quality, I couldn’t even find one that was at least aesthetically pleasing. Finally, I stumbled onto Lucky Brand, quickly remembering a Bob Dylan t-shirt I own from them. It’s not that great, but I am a big vintage concert poster fan. This is the first one I found online, and I think it’s pretty awesome:

It was only I fell in love with this shirt, that I found out that it is a kids size, and out of stock. Don’t you hate it when that happens? However, with the search, Lucky redircted me to this one (get it here):

and this one, you can get here (On sale):

I like both of these. The first with its creative use of the lyrics from Mr. Tambourine Man to create a nice rustic picture (only his shnoz looks a bit Ringo-eque). The second features a faint picture of the later, black shade, afro-sporting, ‘Don’t Look Back’ Dylan. My only beef is that I would rather not see the text of Dylan at the bottom. If you don’t know it’s Dylan, that’s your problem.

I also found this Bob Dylan tee, which I am still unsure of exactly how I feel about, from artiitii.com :

There is also this shirt, from the official Bob Dylan site:

and this one, on which I love the back, but the front completely ruins it (I am really not a fan of that new Dylan ‘eye’ emblem that he uses):

However, the best Dylan tees, in my opinion, are the vintage concert tees, if you want to spend the big bucks, check out some on Ebay . My favorite, having to be:

And so we come to the end of this wonderful Bob Dylan search, and I am still left feeling a bit unsatisfied. I may have missed a cool shirt hiding somewhere on the internet, but in general, the designer iconic rock figure shirt seems to be a rarity, which is really quite a shame. I don’t like my rock shirts to be cheap, sticky prints, that look like they were made in a basement for 20 cents a pop. I feel there’s a lot of creativity that can be infused into making a rock shirt, but I couldn’t find it out there.

Last but not least, I can’t let you go without putting a song up! However, I was unable to put up one of my favorite Bobby songs, Maggie’s Farm live from Newport version (so much better than original, Bloomfield kills it on the guitar!) So, I decided to put up this hilarious clip from the incredible Scorsese documentary, No Direction Home.

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Captain America may have big muscles and a round shield, but this is the ‘American Dream Machine‘ ! This image shows us just how much America is changing. Out with the old and in with the new. This is the futuristic recreation of Uncle Sam; let’s be real, old man Sam has got tennis balls on his walker and talks to himself. This is pretty much exactly what Skynet made, except they weren’t creative enough to spruce it out with super-nationalistic duds. However, they do get brownie points for later evolving to the John Matrix prototype.  In real life, the most plausible scenario is that Apple will build the robots that will eventually kill us and I am OK with that. What else can life offer me after I’ve had the enjoyment of ‘Oregon Trail’ in the palm of my hand? Back to the shirt. I wonder if that hat is metal and I wonder what that beard is made of (I mean, robots don’t shave?). Note: sporting the same facial hair as the image on your t-shirt is not narcissistic, but good hearty self-promotion. On the other hand,  a self picture is a no go.

From Love Brigade, get it here

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We picked this shirt up at one of our favorite and one of the most creative thrift experiences, the Bryn Athens Thrift Store (peep what our gal Sammy D found). What I love most about this shirt is that for one, I am unsure if somebody made it themselves, or if this was the brand’s intention; all the labels are so random and haphazardly placed, that it really does a fantastic job to confuse you. Alls I know is that if I was a lifeguard, a big if, but I would definitely rock this over the typical red lifeguard hoodie (how boring). Plus this one has a marine biology tag, so you can be like Art Vandelay and hope no whale comes along to take your fabrications to task.

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This is one stud of a fly (Kafka meets Buddy Holly); the classy tux, the proper pocket square, the sexy 50s Fender, the bolo tie(!!!) and the suede Bob Dylan’s! …Speaking of flies: Goldbloom. Rourke playing Bukowski. Mr. Miyagi. First rapper of all time Blowfly. Lord of the _… Now when it comes to text on tees, I am almost strongly against it. It is usually a way for somebody to try to make up for their lack of a personality and a sense of humor. However, there are times when I just don’t get it, and then I am really unsure of how to feel. The latter is the case here. Is music the new bug extermination? Are flies going to take over the planet through Rock & Roll? Fun fact, flies vomit on your food when they land on it, but it is not that which spreads diseases but the fact that their feet carry along with them the nasty shit they have been on top of all day (poop). But flies aren’t all that bad cause Chubby Checker says so; not as popular as the ‘Pony time’ or “The Twist’ but incredible nevertheless (and a great case study of funny white people):

From ALAKAZAM, get it here

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I know there are tree huggers, but I wonder if there are any cactus huggers?… ouch! (there IS that bonus psychedelic treat inside them for the environmental and drug friendly). In this world of Priuses, Whole Foods, and vegan shoes, an organic t-shirt company is a dime a dozen. However, one that actually makes some pretty cool designs, thats rare. The foliage on this shirt gives it a very organic look and feel, but even more important than that, it actually is organic!! So, in case you found yourself in a Robinson Crusoe situation, you could eat your shirt and could be assured it has no pesticides. You could also wear this cool colored shirt inside out and wave your ’save the planet’ flag to all you see. But why waste my time doing the same anti-silly white people rant so many have done, “so long as they aren’t eating pesticides they are pretty sure they can live forever.” Comes with instructions to NOT use a washing or drying machine (I wonder if this is to save the environment or to get the vintage, woe-is-me Cinderella image)

From Loomstate, get it here

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’tis true, the less you expect of the world, the better off you’ll be. Yet still, it is not only just your fault, but shared with those you meet. For expectations are set at conclusion of any exchange, thus be wary of over-inflation and promise within range. So at this point you must expect of me a witty anecdote, of course some entertaining piece of prose about some shirt with boats, or goats, or chicks, or guns, or ducks, or Shakespearean allusions. Shall I obey and jump through hoops and induce a brain contusion? I’d say: how ’bout you fuck yourself with overwhelming bravery, but ‘being born’s like being kidnapped, and sold off into slavery.’

It’s not very Shakespearean but this snazzy Shakespeare defaming recycled t-shirt inspired my inner poet, and I decided I would share it with my loyal readers… I had fun, I hope you do, too.

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There are a lot of really dinky and corny cartoon shirts out there that give a bad name to the genre, but it is finds like this one that restore my faith. It is easy to see why I jumped at the opportunity to show this shirt off. Besides the bright green color contrasting with the red font and not feeling Christmas-y, the image is so awesome! It is not some wack-ass, flimsy little character, but the image owns the entire front of the shirt, and is busy without being nauseating. I’m not sure if there is a political intention in this shirt, but we will not look at it as such. Let’s just enjoy the nostalgic love of circuses it evokes, unless you have Coulrophobia. Let’s enjoy all the small details in the art, like the clown’s penis-shaped cufflinks! Let’s enjoy the ‘fun & pleasure’ patch on the ass of his pants (I am sure I saw a college girl with the same thing). Normally, the only cartoons I will endorse as images for tees are the classics, (Mickey is the truth), but there are exceptions to every belief.

From Walter Van Beirendonck , Get it here

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You’ve all seen it happen before: drink a red bull, you get wings… and then it gets a bit wild. When your guitar drinks red bull***, the result can be heavenly, as in this vintage tee we found searchin’ through the gutters. This particular result was so powerful, that the store owner, reminiscent of his windmill chord slammin’ ways, put keep on rockin’ on the shirt’s tag!

***Do not start pouring red bull on your guitar. Your guitar must willingly drink the energy drink itself, if you try to force it, chances are you will just trip some wiring and your sweet sounding duck plucker will start sounding a little crazy, and unfortunately they don’t accept guitars in mental institutions (first hand experience).

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In the battle for musical formats, there were many challengers to the record.  As you can tell this shirt is a bit dated, or “vintage”, from its choice of the cassette tape on the chest.  However, before internet, and before the Compact Disc, the tape was the pioneer of musical innovation, and the vehicle for industry democratization.  For when the record was king, and kings were expensive to produce, the tape brought on the mixtape generation, paving the way for some of hip-hop’s most influencers… and a bunch of homemade covers of Technotronic songs.

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We collected a LOT of thrift store tees in the past couple of weeks, so we decided to post one every single day. No blurb, just pictures of our extensive collection. I will however add that if there is some hidden reference in this shirt, can someone inform us, cause we are unaware of it. It’s just pretty cool.

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