Happy May 24th, the day the greatest song-writer of all time was born. Today, the amazing Bob Dylan turns 69 years old. Do I really have to go into detailed praise of this man, whom I love so much? Currently I don’t very much feel like needing to prove to you his greatness (if you don’t get it, you are missing out). Let’s skip past all the different musical conversational possibilities when dealing with Dylan, (there need’s to be a Dylan themed ‘Table Topics’ asap); acoustic vs. electric, folk vs. blues, fav live album, fav duet, fav 80s album, Christian Dylan, Jewish Dylan, 2000s Dylan, XM radio Dylan, fav bootleg volume, etc… What I decided to do on this wonderful coffee charged morning, other than listen to his discography in chronological order, is try to find awesome Bob Dylan t-shirts online (that is kind of our specialty). This proved to be a somewhat difficult task. For one, there are way too many cheapster zazzle/cafe press type of shirts out there that makes sifting through the web a pain in the ass… I’d rather make my own t-shirt than waste money on one of these, because despite their cheap quality, I couldn’t even find one that was at least aesthetically pleasing. Finally, I stumbled onto Lucky Brand, quickly remembering a Bob Dylan t-shirt I own from them. It’s not that great, but I am a big vintage concert poster fan. This is the first one I found online, and I think it’s pretty awesome:

It was only I fell in love with this shirt, that I found out that it is a kids size, and out of stock. Don’t you hate it when that happens? However, with the search, Lucky redircted me to this one (get it here):

and this one, you can get here (On sale):

I like both of these. The first with its creative use of the lyrics from Mr. Tambourine Man to create a nice rustic picture (only his shnoz looks a bit Ringo-eque). The second features a faint picture of the later, black shade, afro-sporting, ‘Don’t Look Back’ Dylan. My only beef is that I would rather not see the text of Dylan at the bottom. If you don’t know it’s Dylan, that’s your problem.

I also found this Bob Dylan tee, which I am still unsure of exactly how I feel about, from artiitii.com :

There is also this shirt, from the official Bob Dylan site:

and this one, on which I love the back, but the front completely ruins it (I am really not a fan of that new Dylan ‘eye’ emblem that he uses):

However, the best Dylan tees, in my opinion, are the vintage concert tees, if you want to spend the big bucks, check out some on Ebay . My favorite, having to be:

And so we come to the end of this wonderful Bob Dylan search, and I am still left feeling a bit unsatisfied. I may have missed a cool shirt hiding somewhere on the internet, but in general, the designer iconic rock figure shirt seems to be a rarity, which is really quite a shame. I don’t like my rock shirts to be cheap, sticky prints, that look like they were made in a basement for 20 cents a pop. I feel there’s a lot of creativity that can be infused into making a rock shirt, but I couldn’t find it out there.

Last but not least, I can’t let you go without putting a song up! However, I was unable to put up one of my favorite Bobby songs, Maggie’s Farm live from Newport version (so much better than original, Bloomfield kills it on the guitar!) So, I decided to put up this hilarious clip from the incredible Scorsese documentary, No Direction Home.

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It’s that time of the year again. Funnel cake, carousels, wacky mirrors (that either make you feel good or bad about your weight), bearded women, paying 20$ to win a 5$ toy, the gravitron, nausea and vomiting, bumper cars, getting stuck at the top of the ferris wheel, and of course, cotton candy. To be totally honest, I never got behind the whole cotton candy thing, it tasted like sweet mothballs, (I did like the cotton candy flavored Bubblicious though) but I respect the picturesqueness of cotton candy. A pink cloud that represents adolescence, innocence, and all that is good: an overpriced, teeth rotting, ball of euphoria. What makes this shirt great is the photograph by Dan Monick, with its brilliant coloring and mystique caused by the the removal of humanistic qualities; we don’t get a face or an expression, leaving us with only to fill in the blanks ourselves (my guess is that this is a happy girl, look at all that cotton candy!) Note: this shirt is not technically ‘new’, not being of the S/S 2010 line, I’m sorry to be late… but at this point we can consider this shirt vintage, making it that much cooler.

From Blood Is The New Black, get it here

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I guess my chest hair wants a smoke! For some reason the arm reaching out has polka dot colored skin and a fresh green manicure. Don’t remember having that yesterday! But I’ve become accustomed to waking up with faint memories of debaucherous nights. This shirt is reminiscent of an 80s cigarette ad and while I am not in support of the tobacco industry, there’s a broad line between ideology and fashion. Gotta love the v-neck here (add some Buddy Holly glasses and you’ll be scooping up more hipster bitches than Andrew VanWyngarden; and if you going down that road you best be smoking American Spirits, and no I am not exactly sure why, but I guess they don’t cause cancer?). However, the best part of the shirt is the happy cigarettes in the pack, and the unhappy one knowing he is about to meet his maker (not literally). Guess it’s not always great to be the chosen ones (and yes, I mean it as a double entendre in that way)

The shirt is from Gold Saturn, get it here

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Cab Calloway – Hey Now, Hey Now

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When it comes to abstract art, there are only two schools, and both hate each other (and in a movie they would battle it out in a bicycle, car or ski race, karate match, or surf battle). The one side completely dismisses abstract art as nonsensical, untalented, meaningless and that it basically resembles a drawing hanging on a refrigerator that was done by a 2 year old with his fingers who may have swallowed some paint in the process. While the other side of spectrum praises abstract art because it can bypass literal perception and reach into the otherwise impenetrable world of unconscious emotion. That’s cool. I like to think of myself as respecting both parties for their talents and their beliefs; however, I should note that when I see a modern abstract painting of some random shape selling for ridiculous sums of money, it is a bit disconcerting. Nevertheless, at the end of the day some of these art professors, that may come off as pretentious bullshiters, have been studying their Jackson Pollock and Wassily Kandinsky for a long time, so there has to be something to what they preach. …Anywho, I’m in the business of t-shirts and in that belongs art, randomness and nonsense, and it looks great. So whether this image looks like a weird pirate, a dirty peacock or absolutely nothing, it’s still dope (cause I said it is) and also because the website’s cool enticer “super eye-catcher for the next night out at the club or bar hopping”, how do you say no to that?

From Marc by Marc Jacobs, get it here

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I’m going to try doing this entire post without making a cheesy “sea men” reference… The great thing about Rouges Gallery is that it makes you feel like a sailor without actually having to ever go near any water (and smelling like fish). Personally, I like the sea, but mostly to ride around on a chartered boat drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and pretending I know how to fish. I don’t even really eat fish, but I keep what I catch to show that I got something from the trip besides a hangover and sunburn. The people that catch the fish and let them go don’t want to eat the fish, but want to make it late for something (Mitch Hedberg). I’m always a big fan of randomness on t-shirts, and this is no exception, as I am not sure what a “Ship Winch” is, but it looks pretty cool. Also, it’s a nice red color, so in case you fall in the water, it is likely that a shark will attack you on sight (I have no proof of this). On a slightly related tip, listen to (the love of my life) Regina Spektor sing “Sailor Song”:

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T-shirt from Rouges Gallery, get it here

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Nothing says Howdy Doody like a bare midriff and big breasts—Fun Bags. Cha-Chas. Winnebagos. Devil’s Dumplings. Milk Jugs. Gazongas. Coconuts. Melons. Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Ninnies. Speed Bumps. Splazoingas. Squachies. Wopbopaloobops. Whimwhams— Oh, where is my mind? Back to the topic at hand, there is plenty more to discuss. Like that haircut for which I have no defense; half mullet, half bouffant? It is also very important to notice the keen, sangfroid nature about her pose as she leans on her car (not sure what type, could be a dune buggy?) and her eyes strike you. This shirt encapsulate that spirit of the 70s when women could unabashedly show off the goods and everything was just dandy, Daisy Dukes anyone? To complete the throwback aura of the shirt there is this small detail on the back:

Not necessarily saying she is nice and easy, just that whole 70s freewheeling vibe is. Note: it kills me that this image might be from a show or movie and I am unaware of it, so if you have any information, please comment.

From KING KRASH, get it here

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It was just this past weekend when someone, upon seeing my Mickey Mouse watch, commented negatively on it and sparked a small confrontation. It was in this argument with this silly person that I realized that too many people take themselves way too seriously. Now, I have no problem with someone who chooses to not sport cartoon characters on their wrist, but to be so adamantly against somebody else doing is so fickle and frivolous. There’s a lot we as humans can learn from cartoons and if we let our inflated egos and false notions of our ‘mature’ selves blindly lead us, we ignore so many beautiful things. Yes, you have to ‘grow up’ eventually but if we forget the innocence and unadulterated mirth of childhood and let the cynical ideology of being a grown up engulf us, then we lose that idealistic nature of wanting to do things differently, of not wanting to be just another spoke in this life wheel of the drudgery by being an another nobody in the sea of nobodies. Oh, the t-shirt. It’s just amazing. Despite the sick navy stripes which I think are the ‘must-have’ look for this upcoming spring, but the big, bold and sexy image of the pirate Donald Duck on the front, badass.

From JC de Castelbajac S/S 2010 line, get it here

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Captain America may have big muscles and a round shield, but this is the ‘American Dream Machine‘ ! This image shows us just how much America is changing. Out with the old and in with the new. This is the futuristic recreation of Uncle Sam; let’s be real, old man Sam has got tennis balls on his walker and talks to himself. This is pretty much exactly what Skynet made, except they weren’t creative enough to spruce it out with super-nationalistic duds. However, they do get brownie points for later evolving to the John Matrix prototype.  In real life, the most plausible scenario is that Apple will build the robots that will eventually kill us and I am OK with that. What else can life offer me after I’ve had the enjoyment of ‘Oregon Trail’ in the palm of my hand? Back to the shirt. I wonder if that hat is metal and I wonder what that beard is made of (I mean, robots don’t shave?). Note: sporting the same facial hair as the image on your t-shirt is not narcissistic, but good hearty self-promotion. On the other hand,  a self picture is a no go.

From Love Brigade, get it here

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This reminds me of a great Seinfeld quote: “Some people actually cheat on the people that they’re cheating with. Which is like being in a hold up and then turning to the robber next to you and going ‘Alright, gimme everything you have”’. But what do you do if you are held up by a monkey?! I am reminded of the greatest monkey movie there is, “Dunston checks In” (King who?), featuring Pee Wee Herman, George Costanza, and Otho. However, it is really the monkey who is the star, stealing hearts as he wants to leave the jewel thieving trade. If you really think about it, Hollywood has been showing us monkeys acting like humans for ages; drinking, kissing, stealing, dancing, etc. Ulterior motive? (*cough evolution cough*). Face it, when you were young you wanted a monkey as a pet, and I wonder why more people don’t have them (insert Friends reference here). And why wouldn’t you? They are beyond adorable. Even with a gun in their hands, you couldn’t believe they could hurt a baby. Side note; I love the way this t-shirt design does the smoky fading/blending colors, trippy.

From BamBam, get it here

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